so you hate me, ha?

for me, hate is such a strong and powerful word. and to use that word on anybody is ... well ... strong and powerful. big time strong and powerful.

why do yo hate me, anyway? hmmm... i think i can come up with a few reasons. let's see...

you hate me because everytime you see me happy and having fun, you see how lonely and miserable your life is.

you hate me because i make your insecurities come to life, and i remind you of how inferior you feel when you're around people.

you hate me because i am the person you can never be.

i can go on with my list, but i will be wasting a lot of time. so i'll settle for just three.

yeah, yeah. so you say i have a very high regard for myself. what were the words you used to describe me? taong masyadong bilib sa sarili? well, that's life, my friend. or shall i say ex-friend? there are two types of people in this world. the ones who have faith in themselves, and the ones who don't. you most likely belong to the second group.

but wait a minute... let me take that back. on the contrary, i think you have a very VERY high regard for yourself. aren't you the self proclaimed miss perfect? most people won't say they are perfect. i certainly won't. coz i know i'm not perfect. nobody is. but you, you have the nerve to say "i am perfect". hands down. i can't say anything to that. you most definitely need a mirror. i suggest you get a mirror of life. and get a huge one so you can see yourself clearly and fully.

anyway, going back to the hate thingy. if you hate me so much and i annoy you all the time, why don't you just go away so you won't see me anymore? save yourself from that unhealthy feeling you have to endure every single day that you see me. find another job, maybe? you know it makes me think... if you hate me that much, why are you still clinging on to something that i gave you? i mean, i gave you your job among other things, and now you claim that you hate me. you hate me and you're still on the job that i gave you? where is your sense of pride? self respect? not to mention gratitude? well... i think i may have been expecting too much from you for thinking that maybe... just maybe.. you have all these great human virtues. who am i kidding?

ok, confession time. at some point, i also said that same thing about you. i so hate you. but it was a long time ago. long time ago as in a month ago? i don't really dwell on hatred too much coz it's not healthy. hatred makes a person look old and unhappy and all the bad things. i am way over that stage now. i only see you as some form of entertainment these days. it's fun to watch you sometimes. it's fun to read you. pity. yeah, for what it's worth, i'd say i pity you a little bit, for what you go through every single day. i mean, i know it's hard to try not to laugh when everyone else around you is laughing and just having a great time as we normal people do. i also think that it's hard for you to keep your eyes off of me even if you hate me so much. you flatter me. nobody has ever given me much hated attention the way you do. but ... nah ... i have given you so much good things before and you still managed to create a situation where in you made me look like the bad guy. you don't deserve anything from me anymore. even my pity. for me, you simply don't exist. well, almost. almost because i still have a few things to say before i completely delete your existence off my life. just wait...